PSL for Serene_Rage

[irememberedhim]

The Soldier still hadn't remembered his name. Most of the mutants in the base had taken to calling him Winter after he'd given his code name when Erik had captured him. He knew he was still being watched. That the telepaths closest to Erik were doing everything they could to make sure he was still stable and mostly sane.

Over the weeks since they're fight and being taken in by Erik he had started to see things the way the man saw them. It wasn't much different from HYDRA. Honestly, in a way he thought Erik's view was better. The special people of the world, the mutants, people like him even, who had powers of different kinds...Erik wanted a better world for them because they were the future.

Well, who was he to argue, right? He just leaned into his bed, closing his eyes and sighing before shifting a bit to lay down. His memories, some of them anyway, had been coming back. He remembered a scrawny guy, remembered being close to him. But that guy would be long gone by then, even if he could remember his name.

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[serene_rage]

Most of them had taken to calling him Winter simply because he couldn't remember his own name, and Erik had expressly forbidden anyone from simply calling him 'the soldier', because he was much more than just a title even if none of them knew the extent of what, or who he was. If he chose, later, to be called the Soldier, that was something else, the name he'd picked the same as most of them had. But until then Winter was the most logical compromise.

It also helped, he was sure, that Erik wasn't just offering the chance at shaping a new world and at changing the future, but was offering the man a place in it. Erik knew that Winter had had a longer than usual session with Emma earlier in the day, trying to unearth anything they could without hurting him, though that was becoming harder and harder to do and was part of why things had taken so long.

He knocked lightly on the door, just in case he'd actually managed to get to sleep, as the sessions left Winter almost as exhausted as they did Emma.

[irememberedhim]

He lifted his eyes to the door, pushing himself up a bit before calling out. "Its open!" Then he moved to sit back against the headboard again. He wasn't really all that surprised to see that it was Erik, probably coming to check on him after his session with Emma.

It had been strange for him when he'd first come across them, across the Brotherhood and Erik. He hadn't known mutants existed, hadn't known what to really do when he'd been faced with an entirely new species of human. It had been even stranger for him when the man had accepted him into their ranks, helping him rid himself of his HYDRA handlers.

Once Erik stepped into the room he gave a small, somewhat forced smile. Emotions were still a little foreign to him, as was most human contact of any kind beyond receiving his orders and carrying them out, so this had all been new and nice, if he were to admit it to himself. "I remembered...a man. Or maybe....he was small. Maybe a boy. I think he was my best friend."

[serene_rage]

He nodded at that, stepping into the room though still keeping a respectful distance, letting Winter have his space, "Emma told me as much, and that even she couldn't pick out a name." She had, on occasion, been able to filter out details that Winter hadn't caught onto himself, she'd been able to make sense of the background noise where he couldn't.

"But if he is that important," And the clarity of the memory, in Emma's opinion, pointed to him being very important, "you'll remember. Don't push yourself too hard, we're trying to repair decades of damage, that isn't something that can be done overnight." He tilted his head, then, just a little, the expression curious, "How do you feel?"

[irememberedhim]

"But he would be gone now." He said quietly, and just the sound of those words coming from his lips...well they hurt and he could feel his chest clenching at it. His face falling as well, head bowing. "I remembered...he used to fight. He wouldn't stop getting up, even if he was getting the snot beaten out of him. He was such a punk."

And then his expression changed to fondness, eyes crinkling a bit at the corners. "I'm doing this for him. For everyone like him. I want to make the world a better place. He was special..." He paused though, tilting his head as he looked at Erik. "But he was human." His fingers slowly brushed through his hair. "I think he was. There was something." He shook his head, wincing a bit because trying to remember hurt. A reminder of what HYDRA had done to him.

[serene_rage]

He eased forward just a little at the apparent rising distress, shaking his head once, "Don't try to force the memories." He reiterated, "They'll return in time." This was followed by a somewhat quieter, "You cared for him." He could tell that much just from the tone, even without Emma's suspicion as much. He knew that he often used that tone himself when speaking of Charles, not that he did very often these days.

And then, because it was what Charles would have done, but also because it was true, he offered a sliver of hope: "It's only been twenty years. If he's managed not to get himself killed, he may yet be alive, though older than you remember." And as soon as they had a name, they'd start looking, anyone that important to their newest brother -human or not- may be looking for him, as well.

[irememberedhim]

He nodded after a few moments, settling back against the headboard. He stared down at his hands, watching them both clench before his eyes focused on the metal plates as they shifted together. "What if he is dead though? He was...important. Somehow? I can't remember...he wasn't...normal."

How could he explain when he didn't understand himself. He knew Emma was helping him get closer, but HYDRA had really done a number on him so it was slow progress.

[serene_rage]

"If that's the case, than I daresay he's a better chance than most of still being alive." He wasn't sure what 'not normal' meant in this case, though if the other man was augmented in anything close to the same way Winter was, then he could well still be alive, somewhere, and they'd start searching for him as soon as they had any solid information from the mess that was Winter's mind.

"But you shouldn't work yourself up over it. The mind is a complicated thing, and what's been done to yours is nothing short of brutality. It will take time to heal."

[irememberedhim]

He shifted a bit, nodding slowly. "I hope he is." He said quietly, making a bit of a face at Eric's last words. He knew what HYDRA had done to him was nothing short of torture and eventually he hoped he would have every chance to pay them back for everything they put him through. Currently he just wanted to get better. He wanted to remember himself. "Thank you, Eric."

Two weeks later

The man everyone had called Winter came bursting into Eric's rooms without even knocking his eyes wide, breathing coming fast as he stared at the man who had taken him in. The man who had given him a home and a new purpose that was helping people, not hurting. The very same man who had now helped him find himself. "My name is James Buchanan Barnes, but my friends...they called me Bucky." He said, excitement in his tone.

His fingers dug into the back of a chair slightly and he smiled, something warm and more human than any smile before that day, though there was a hint of sadness to it. "My friend's name was Steve Rogers...otherwise known as Captain America."

[serene_rage]

That revelation left Erik at something of a dilemma. If only because he knew what had happened to Captain America, most people did.

Of course, part of the dilemma at hand was whether or not to reveal that his Brotherhood was one of many interested parties searching for Rogers -or his remains, though most theorized that the serum could have preserved him in some kind of stasis, a deep hibernation the way some tree frogs survived.

As it was, he decided to let those topics lie for another time, focusing instead on the first exclamation, just turning his chair to face the other man more fully, head tilted slightly, "And what would you like to be called now?" That, really, was the most important thing. Most of the Brotherhood had picked their own names, it was something Erik encouraged, really, something to call their own right from the start.

[irememberedhim]

"Everyone here goes by code names. Even you. I don't know if I should keep a code name or not." He said hesitantly, thinking about it. He pushed his fingers through his hair, metal fingers tapping excitedly before he nodded. "Keep Winter when I'm in the field. I wear a mask so the only people who might ever recognize me would be from HYDRA. Unless somehow...Steve comes back." He said, shaking his head.

"Otherwise, I want everyone to call me Bucky. I trust everyone here now. You've all helped me, made me feel welcome, like I'm not just a weapon...a tool. You gave me a purpose." He said as he straightened and smiled.

[serene_rage]

"Real names." He corrected, gently, "Not code names. The names we give ourselves are important." The smile that followed, however, was an easy one, clasping Bucky's shoulder, "And you're one of us as much as any other here.

Bucky wasn't a mutant, not in the traditional sense, the genetic marker that held the rest of them together, but he wasn't entirely human, either, not after what had been done to him, and all that mattered was that -for now at least- he was with them.

They'd always suspected, of course, that it was Hydra who had created him, and had only recently confirmed it, which was why Erik added, expression gone a little more serious: "They're still out there. Hydra. And while they haven't actively been looking to retrieve their asset, it won't be long before they do, especially if you're seen with us." And being seen was inevitable, the Brotherhood ended up in the news whenever they had a mission, or close enough to every time that it didn't matter.

Really it just meant that it was only a matter of time before the wrong person connected the dots and realized who Bucky was, what he'd been.

[irememberedhim]

He frowned a bit. "I just mean...I know they all chose their own name and it is important. I'm just used to thinking of them as code names. But out there, I want to be called Winter. In here, with the people I care about, Bucky." He didn't exactly feel like he deserved a separate name. He wasn't actually one of them, a mutant.

"HYDRA will find me. They will send people after me over and over again, but I will never go back to them. I'll die before I let them brainwash me and turn me into their tool again." He said, straightening up and looking at him.

[serene_rage]

Erik's smile was positively predatory, "They will try to find you." He said, "We won't let them succeed until you're ready." And if that meant letting Winter -now Bucky- handle them himself, he would do so. But he would also encourage the other man to remember that he wasn't alone, not anymore.

He leaned back in his chair, just a little, studying the other once more, "Is there anything we can do to help you be better prepared when that time comes?"

[irememberedhim]

"I just need to train. They...don't exactly have a full grasp of the super soldier serum, not to the extent that Erskein had with Steve, but they have something. They're still experimenting, trying to create more people like me. And people like you. Super humans." He sighed, looking down.

"Depending on their success when I'm ready, I definitely won't be able to take them on alone. I just don't know how much help I'll need."

[serene_rage]

He nodded, "I can have you start training with the extraction teams, instead of the new recruits." Having Bucky train with those who were used to going out in the field might help, as opposed to those newly arrived and sometimes still learning the extent of their own powers.

Not only that, but it would get the man more acquainted with the teams themselves and how they worked together, something that could make all the difference in going against a Hydra strike team in the future.

[irememberedhim]

After listening and considering the new option for more advanced training he nodded quickly. "I still have all of my HYDRA training as well, just none of the conditioning is left. So training with them would be good because it would give me a chance to learn new things, new tactics. Right now...I'd be fairly willing to bet that any HYDRA agent could take me down. They would all know exactly how I move."

[serene_rage]

"Yes, learning tactics aside from those that have been... ingrained, would be a good thing for everyone involved. It would help us to learn what to expect as well." And had already done so, in fact, Bucky's knowledge of Hydra operations and how they went had already aided the Brotherhood on more than one occasion.

"Rosters have already been drawn for today's training, but I'll make sure that you're added to tomorrow's listings. I'll do what I can to make sure you're training with those you already know, though there are bound to be some that you don't, or at least don't know very well." A small smile, "Think of it as an opportunity."

[irememberedhim]

"I'd also like to go over some other HYDRA weaknesses. Combat they stay focused on, moves they are all taught. The way to counter act and balance." He said, straightening up again as he stared at the man.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me." He said, smiling softly and nodding.

[serene_rage]

He nodded, brow furrowing a little, "Of course. You may not be a mutant by blood, but I hate to say you aren't entirely human any longer either." He reached over to clasp Bucky's shoulder, giving him a gentle shake, "You're our brother here as much as anyone."

It had been a unanimous decision to let him stay, even, and while Mystique had joked that it was because they needed a pet, she hadn't actually meant it, and no one had thought she did.

[irememberedhim]

"They altered me genetically. I'm...enhanced." He said, smiling at the hand on his shoulder and the shake, nodding. "I'll protect you the same as you've all done for me. I swear it."

He sighed, looking towards the door. "Maybe someday you'll find Steve." He said it quietly, fingers brushing through his hair.

[serene_rage]

"Perhaps." He agreed with a nod, "There are ... multiple factions looking for him even as we speak." Mostly the Brotherhood concerned itself with watching those factions instead of searching for Steve themselves, though there was at least a small group of them who were doing that as well.

He hesitated just briefly, not sure whether saying anything further would be giving Bucky false hope or not, but deciding that he could do well to hear it, "I'll let you know if we get any news."

[irememberedhim]

His brows furrowed at that as he thought of who could possibly be trying to find Steve besides the Brotherhood. Then again, he knew from snippets of his memories that HYDRA was trying to find him. Mostly because they wanted to do the same thing to him that they had to Bucky.

"If HYDRA finds him, I want to be part of the rescue." He said, voice holding no room for discussion. In this, he would go by himself if it came down to it.

[serene_rage]

"Of course." He agreed with a nod, "You'll be included on the retreival team regardless." That was a given, especially now that he was remembering things.

There was, of course, always the chance that they would be retreiving a body and not a person, but even in that instance, Bucky deserved to be there.

His brows both lifted then, regarding Bucky for a moment, head cocked just slightly, "Was there anything else?"

[irememberedhim]

He nodded before sighing. "No thats everything. Thank you...again. You've been good to me, Erik. It means a lot." He said quietly, smiling warmly at him before turning and headinng towards the door.

"I am your soldier now. Not the same as with them, but still. I want to help you and help your cause."

[serene_rage]

"You are our brother." Erik agreed, "A soldier in defense of us all, the same as any other here."

The next day Erik had actually taken the time to arrange the training schedules to put both Bucky and himself into the mix, instead of just Bucky alone. Both on the same team, and on opposing teams for different exercises as he tried to do with everyone, to encourage them to learn how to use their abilities as a cohesive unit, and how to counteract each other or work against those limitations.

The first match was simple enough, one group had to rescue the 'hostage' from the other in an outdoor obstacle course, while the second group tried to prevent this from happening.

For the first match, Erik had placed himself and Bucky both on the rescue team, along with three others, including Alexis, otherwise known as Thorne -thanks to her florakinetic powers- who was playing their hostage.

"Teams, you have five minutes to confer and work out a strategy, starting now." He eyed the rest of his team, save Thorne who -as the hostage- would be privy to her captors' plan and not her own team's until they actually got to her. The other two looked to Erik to lead them, and Erik, in turn, looked to Bucky: "Do you have any ideas, Soldier?"